Let today be the day of memory of us. The day where we revealing who ourselves. Where we bare each other souls. Thank you to finally trust me to be the one bearing the secret life of the other you. For a while, I was wondering about you. Not because the closer we get the stronger the feelings. But, for the existence of yourself in my life. I believe people come into our life with purpose. Some are good, some to give us a lesson and some to stay until the end of time. Will you stay? I don't know.

I have a lot of trauma letting people in into my life. Especially those who I let them in deeply. Mostly after a while, they will just disappear like smokes. Totally out of sight and out of life, can't even be contacted anymore. Then, I will blame myself because of the situation. I know it's not even my fault, but something always makes me feel insecure regarding having someone I call a dear friend, a best friend or even someone special. If you asked me why? I don't know. I'm still looking for the answers too.

Maybe too much of disappointments in life, also some bad experiences. I don't know. Completely, understand this kind of feeling is not good for me. But, sometimes I just can't help it to feel that way. It's not like I already have some kind of premonitions about the situation, but most things happened as I predicted.

I told you once and keep telling the side of me where I envy the people around you. I know it sounds like a nonsense babbling, but it's true. I don't think I ever have someone as intense as I'm chatting with you.

The insecurities go with the questions, you never want to answer. I keep asking why you stayed to chat with me every single day. Yet you keep answering I'm repeating the questions, again. There are times when we have our own moment to breathe. You're with your days and me with mine. But, nothing that I do when I'm not thinking about you, even you came into my dream. One that I wonder, again. 

This is something I want to tell you for a while, a simple Thank YOU. But somehow I feel I don't have enough words or the right moment, until today. Hopefully, with this post, you understand how important you are already for me. There's something between us which better not being said, but more to feel inside. I know you understand what I'm saying, yet we both keep denying what the feeling was. I guess its better stay that way, I let you be the brother, a best friend and a so-called-online-lover, I never had.

There are times when you make me feel special, there are times you also being a young guy at your age. You keep telling me that you're some kind of ignorant person, but you're not. The evil inside you makes the cover real good like a page of a grand magazine. To me, you're charming, sweet, kind and honest. The kind of things that your other character won't let you be. You have to stay like he wants you to be. As evil as you can be.

I'm just glad, you finally confide in me. Again, thank you.

Wishing you dearly to have an amazing life ahead, the kind of life that you keep dreaming about with that Angel of yours. I wish you both to stay together until then, to have each other back. I wish the relationship getting stronger as the days passed. Is this sound like a jealous or envy person? Indeed! HAHA...this meant to be a sarcasm! 


 No matter what life give ahead of you, just remember. When others failed, let me be the last one who saved you from whatever pains you feel. That's a promise!

I love you.